


Security

by Thera Dratara (TheraHedwig)



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Asia Circuit Hen, Friendship, Gen, Intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-26 20:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheraHedwig/pseuds/Thera%20Dratara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was in those early morning hours that he felt safe...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Security

**Author's Note:**

> So, I tend to get emotional when I’m sleepy, which results into me writing very emotional fanfic.
> 
> I’m comfy writing Kai these days, and wanted to write an emotional fic containing him, but in my head the other characters were like ‘Being emotional with Kai is really fucking awkward’ except Ren. So I ended up writing a renkai friendship fic.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

Ren was very touchy-feely and if Kai didn't respond enough to Ren's liking, Ren would start poking him until he got attention. On longer, arduous days where they'd been fine-tuning new deck constructions into the early morning, Ren was too tired for the poking and would settle for leaning against him. Initially Kai response had been to lean back, but after a few occasions where Ren had slipped past him and crashed into the ground, he chose to preventively wrap his arms around Ren. As such, the early morning hug was born.

Kai was happy Ren was half-asleep during these moments, because he personally was having emotional breakdowns during them.

He didn't know why, maybe it was the warmth or the smell, or perhaps it was the heartbeat that he'd hear when he laid his head against Ren's neck. He'd just feel such a vivid sense of being human, alive. He'd feel small, tinier than tiny, being swallowed up by the experience: the heat, the beat and the humming of his skin. A wave of warmth and coolness would spread through his body, followed closely by a nauseating tenseness that was paralysing. Occasionally he'd cry a little, but never would he let go, an insane fear that he'd stop existing would strike before he could do that. And he just felt so safe.

One time though, Ren spoke up.   
"Could you perhaps not squeeze my shoulder like that?"

Kai let go, and immediately it felt like the ground was disappearing beneath him, but at the same time his feet were caught by a different ground, as if he had just stepped into a different reality. He felt completely disoriented.

Ren eyed him groggily: "Why don't you ever say you don't like hugging?"

Kai frowned.

"You're always having these panic attacks." Ren made a lazy gesture.

It was flippant. Rationally typical of Ren, who was tired. But in the disorientation Kai's first instinct was to get mad. Really mad. To the point where he wanted to strangle Ren. He heard his blood rushing, but he stood still, frigidly.

Ren noticed there was a change. He was suddenly a lot more alert. "Hey," he said, and Kai felt Ren's fingers caress his neck. The rage in him was still building. Any second now and he would lash out.

"Hey." Ren had wrapped his arms around Kai tightly and started rocking him. Back and fro. Kai felt his anger wash away, as he moved with Ren. He laid his head onto Ren's shoulder and half-hugged him back. He heard Ren sigh next to his ear. Kai scrunched up his eyes till it hurt, opened them up again and pulled out of the hug. He pecked Ren on his temple. Oh.

Not quite his intention. He held a hand in front of his eyes to cover up his embarrasement.  
"I'm going to bed," he said. He walked to pick up his deck, not looking at Ren.

"Yeah, good idea." He saw Ren stretch himself in the corner of his eye.

As he walked out the door, Ren called out to him. Kai looked at Ren.  
"It's alright," said Ren, "We're friends, and that's good."

Kai smiled briefly. "Goodnight, Ren." Ren grinned lazily and held up his hand.

And as Kai went to bed that night, he found himself feeling safe.


End file.
